The Inner Email of an ARC Facility
by torncorpse
Summary: Winner of the Writing Skilz challenge on the ARC. One day in the Email System of ARC. Humour. Edited to make for easier reading. 30/7/08


Inner Email of an ARC Facility

--

To: j.lester arc.  
From: n.cutter arc.  
RE: Anomaly Dated 9/02/08

Anomaly displayed signs of weakened magnetism for 8.3 seconds prior to creature appearing.

Creature thought to be a mid-Jurassic meglosaurus - theory yet to be confirmed.

Analysing data currently.

No injuries to note. Connor may have lost a gun though.

Prof Cutter.

To: n.cutter arc.  
From: j.lester arc.  
RE: RE Anomaly Dated 9/02/08

Please see memo regarded full and specific reports and take appropriate actions.

Mr. Temple has forwarded Miss. Maitland's medical report.

Lester.

To: n.cutter arc.  
From: s.hart arc.  
RE: Wasn't a meglosaurus

Techs and Connor agree - it's some sort of allosaurus. Not said what.

Lester's pissy.  
What'd you say?

To: s.hart arc., j.lewis arc., n.cutter arc.  
From: a.maitland arc.  
RE: What've you done to Connor?

He won't shut up about this bloody thing?  
What is it?  
Why is he going on about noble prizes?

I hate you all.

To: n.cutter arc.  
From: c.temple arc.  
RE: Unknown Dino!

Professor, it's an undiscovered breed! I'm sure.

The span of the tail is inconsistent with that of an allosaur but the mass is too great to be a meglosaur. We've found something new!

There's nothing in any of the books/websites/database about this thing.  
It could be a Cutterasauras!

Or not. Doesn't sound very imposing. No offence. I'm sure you'll come up with something. We've managed to isolate a strand of DNA - they're talking about making their own Jurassic Park, at least this time we'd make it accurate!

Can you tell Lester my report will be late? I want to get a good look at this thing. They're going to start the Viropsy soon - that's a virtual autopsy if you were wondering. I need to be there!!

To: a.maitland arc.  
From: n.cutter arc.  
RE: Connor

We've done nothing.  
It's an unknown breed and he's slightly excited.  
Doubt he'll be home tonight.

Prof. Cutter

P.S - Sorry.

To: n.cutter arc.  
From: j.lewis arc.  
RE: Could you cause any more damage?

Professor, please refrain from HITTING camera men when out in the field.

It makes my life harder.  
Could you also ask Mr. Temple not to shoot civilians? Once was an accident. Three times is just too much.

Ms Lewis

To: s.hart arc.  
From: n.cutter arc.  
RE: Connor

Jenny's not happy about the shooting. Can you teach Connor how to at least shoot straight? I know it's a lot to ask, but can you try?

Lester doesn't seem happy with the extent of the reports.  
What'd you write?

To: n.cutter arc.  
From: s.hart arc.  
RE: I was supposed to write a report?

I can try.  
No promises.

I expect hazard pay.

See subject line.

To: j.lewis arc.  
From: n.cutter arc.  
RE: RE Could you cause any more damage?

Sorry, Stephen's taking Connor for shooting lessons. It won't happen again.

I didn't hit him, per say. He just…walked into my fist?  
I don't suppose a drink could smooth this over?

Cutter

To: c.temple arc.  
From: s.hart arc.  
RE: Lessons

Meet me at the main door after the autopsy.

If you can learn how to shoot we'll give you a dart gun.  
No arguments.

To: s.hart arc.  
From: c.temple arc.  
RE: SWEET!

This day can't get better!!

Do you think Abby'll say yeah if I ask her out?

To: c.temple arc.  
From: s.hart arc.  
RE: RE SWEET!

No

To: n.cutter arc.  
From: j.lewis arc.  
RE: RE RE Could you do any more damage?

I don't know what's worse. Your excuse or Connor learning to shoot.  
Just don't give him a real gun.

To: j.lewis arc.  
From: n.cutter arc.  
RE: Drinks?

No promises.

So, is that a no to the drink?

To: n.cutter arc., j.lewis arc., j.lester arc.  
From: a.maitland arc.  
RE: Connor and Stephen

I am heading up to the hospital just now. Connor called. Something about shooting lessons.

I don't know the details; I'll call when I do.

Abby.

To: n.cutter arc.  
From: j.lewis arc.  
RE: RE Drinks?

I think I'm going to need one.

My place or yours?

To: j.lewis arc.  
From: n.cutter arc.  
RE: RE RE Drinks?

Mine.

To: a.maitland arc., c.temple arc., j.lewis arc., n.cutter arc., s.hart arc.  
From: j.lester arc.  
RE: Handling of Weapons and other important facts.

Mr. Temple is not to touch another weapon outside of the shooting range without MILITARY presence.

Mr. Hart is on injury leave and will be awarded hazard pay - do not sue or else!

Miss. Maitland - unless involved in a high speed chase with the matter of life and death please avoid emulating James Bond in a mini on the M28.

Prof Cutter and Miss Lewis - calling in with hangovers is for high school. I expect you both in my office in the next hour.

That is all.

To: c.temple arc., s.hart arc.  
From: a.maitland arc.  
RE: Cutter and Lewis

They are so busted!

--

Disclaimer: ARC and it's workers belong to Impossible Pictures and ITV. I made no money, but did get a headache.


End file.
